Friday, 21 August 2009

Stratford-upon-Avon

A friend and I have been planning for a bunch of us randoms to go away for a weekend at a cottage in Stratford-upon-Avon. Even though the idea is to just to relax and not do much, there is still lots of groundwork - like finding the right cottage at the right location, possibly renting a car, sorting out the food and finding ways to keep ourselves occupied (contrary to public belief, girls don't just sit around painting each others nails when they go away)... Over the last few days, we've had tonnes of emails flying back and forth to get all the details sorted.
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If you thought this post was going to be about how we planned the trip, you are very much mistaken :) Instead, I'm out to prove that this blog is not only a place for me to ponder about life's serious questions, but also to celebrate a jug full of silliness when it presents itself!
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Some text has been ammended to protect the identity of the other individual (it does get quite silly!), but it's largely all there!
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This is how it all started:
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saya guna imaginasi dan saya jumpa ini:
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Ade music lagi doh!!!! LOL
Eh cun la... ade sungai, ade itik.. kau nak ape lagi? :D
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lol saya take dengar music, saya punya pc saya suruh diam jadi kalau ade orang hantar alamat untuk laman yr doji-doji dan bising-bising tak-de la bunyi!
asalkan ade sungai, ade itik, tak payah apa-apa lagi!!
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siape la kawan u yang hantar alamat ke laman yang doji-doji (seriously woman, doji-doji?? :p)
pc saya pun biasanya diam-diam je.. tapi boleh pasang headphone le... :)
tapi takde monyet la.. u tau la I kalau cuti takde monyet tak sedap tau!
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eh monyet yang macam mana? 6 kaki, pakai turban dengan skirt orang skot?
kalau nak sembunyi-sembunyi dan seronok-seronok, jangan bising ya!
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eleh eleh.. cakap aku pulak.. siape yg pegi laman doji tu? bukan i......
Hmm tapi kalau ade orang skot 6 kaki, takkan nak cakap no pulak :) eh die ade kuda dgn crossbow tak? kalau ade, set la aku ni!
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siapa yang hantar laman doji tu, huh? huh?
eh awak ni, orang bagi enam kaki awak ambik enam kaki tambah kuda tambah anak panah tambah busur panah tambah kuda tambah itik tambah ayam......untuk apa? awak-kan vegetarian?
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I gelak terkekek-kekek sampai terhikup-hikup!! pakcik sebelah aku pandang semacam pulak haha
Eh keje aku kan suka tambah-tambah - lagi banyak lagi bagus la. U kan tau aku punye retirement plan nak buka satu kebun kat kampung... memang sesuai tau.. nanti pak skot aku (name dia mcdonald la, ape lagi) dgn i nyanyi lagu old mcdonald ade sebuah kebun, iya-iya-yo
u ingat ape.. i merepek je ke? ni semua dah ade dalam aku punye plan tau! kalau tak caya i hantar lagi satu kain-sebar excel bagi kau tengok
glosari: kain sebar = spreadsheet
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eh ronald takde masa nak nyanyi lagu "iya-iya-yo" di kebun, dia kena pergi jaga kedai gerbang emas
ehhh tak payah hantar kain sebar, saya sudah cukup takut nak bawa awak ke rumah yang ada sungai dan itik nanti itik dan sungai pun dia kodkan dengan warna dan tanda semak!
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u jgn melebih-lebih ah.... saja je nak tuduh ronald aku buat bukan-bukan kat kedai dia tu... nanti aku cari ibu panah dia, ade spesial baru dalam menu dia nanti: ex-kawan-kawan ronald.
eh by the way i nak tanye.. u guna kamus yg mane ah... jgn nak tipu... i tau bm kau takde la canggih sangat... i guna http://pgoh13.free.fr/english_malay_dictionary.php... takde la bes sangat.. tapi cukupla kalau nak berborak dgn u... kalau cari kamus yg dahsyat nanti kau tak paham pulak!
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And so on….. But I think I'll cap it here while you still think we have some sense... or have we lost you already? :p
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As you can imagine, we've have been so busy trying to outdo each others Malay skills that we got a little sidetracked and the details of the trip still need some ironing out!
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Now if only the actual trip will be as much fun.... :)

Thursday, 9 July 2009

The Pi of Life

A few years ago, a Canadian writer by the name of Yann Martel wrote a book called the Life of Pi. It is a fascinating book that starts off in the former French colony of Pondicherry in India, where a little boy named after a swimming pool has his life thrown out of balance as the Pondicherry Zoo is closed down, and within a few pages he finds himself on a little boat in the Pacific with a hyena, zebra and of course, Richard Parker, the Bengal tiger that accompanies him all the way to... hmm maybe I won't give everything away and let you discover that for yourself. I'm not even sure why I brought it up. After all, this post has nothing to do with that young boy named Pi. Nothing to do with him at all.
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That Pi might be a stranger to some of us. But the Pi that I'm referring to is one that we all know.
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Pi
A mathematical constant, the value of which is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.
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Or the definition I prefer.
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The ratio of a circle's area to the square of its Radius.
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In the few years of my human experience, there is one thing that I learnt very quickly: there are very few constants in life.
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Things change. People come and go. Joy does not party for long, and sorrow doesn't linger either. Cookies disappear from jars. Chocolate melts even faster. Fluffy pet rabbits leave for heavens of green meadows and crunchy carrots. Maids who become family get on a plane and fly away. Snowflakes melt. Coal black hair becomes salt and pepper. Friends forget. The great big ball of fire burns out a little more every day. At first there are no teeth, and then there are so many that you need a thin wire to restrain them, and then even they fall out. A hand held by a hospital bed one day becomes ash and rejoins the earth.
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In contrast, the list of constants is very short. In fact, the official list begins and ends with only One item, which ironically (or perhaps not) is also referred to as Ek. God, Guru, Yahweh, Khuda, Bhagwan.
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But this post has nothing to do with that either.
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It is about my list of constants, to which I add an item of my own. One that may not be as All Encompassing as Ek, but is no less Divine.
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My mother.
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My very own Pi.
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Pi and Radius
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Pi is the ratio of a circle's area to the square of its Radius.
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When the Radius expands, the rule of Pi makes the area of the circle increase because the ratio between the two, Pi, is constant. On days that life seems expansive and infinite, She spreads Her wings and takes me on Her back and we soar as we fly amongst the stars. We visit all my hopes and dreams and get close enough for me to reach out to hold them in my palm. And when I open my hand to show Her what I have, She beams at me with a light so bright that the stars around us pale in comparison.
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And when the Radius contracts, the rule of Pi makes the circle smaller, because again, Pi is constant. On days that I just want to curl up and disappear, She pulls the boundaries in, plants a garden of blossoms around me, wraps me in a blanket, blesses me with a prayer, and keeps me warm like only the love of a Mother can. In that little piece of heaven, I don't even remember the contraction, because all I see is an endless ocean of lilies.
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Being Pi means that She has to keep the ratio constant same unchanged. She has to stop drop halt give up everything anything all the time anytime always when the Radius changes moves shifts. Because the ratio cannot must not will not change.
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The Radius knows that Pi is at its mercy. It expects constant attention as it shifts, pushing the circle in and out, sometimes too rapidly, sometimes intentionally, sometimes continuously, without giving a moments thought to Pi, and the fact that She has so many other Radii to watch over as well.
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Pi and some of her Radii
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Pi is just expected to keep up.
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And Pi does.
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At times it seems as if Pi does not even exist for Herself. Her entire existence is defined by the length of the Radius.
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And what has the Radius ever done to deserve its Pi?
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I do not know. I cannot think of my Pi as anything else but a blessing so magnificent, so unwavering, so constant, that every inch of my existence is defined, blessed, celebrated, just because I have my Pi.
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My Pi that brought me to the feet of my Guru. Sat with me every night until I finished my homework. Held the umbrella when it rained. Smiled through tears, because sometimes a child does not understand. Held out a hug anytime it was needed. Prays for me, for my happiness, for my peace, for my soul’s journey, without me knowing when or why. Holds me when I cry, and cries with me. Makes our home a temple and a sanctuary. Loves me as if I am the greatest gift and blessing God could bestow.
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Radius can be quite a challenge for Pi
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And all I have to offer in return is a humble prayer, that Pi is as blessed to be a part of this equation as Radius is.
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Because without Pi, there would be no circle.
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And the Radius would mean nothing.

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Only human, after all

Sometimes I feel as though I live in a state of permanent tug-of-war between Mind and Heart. They both want different things; they tease me and cajole me and pull me in different directions, they try to convince me that I should think with one, rather than feel with the other. I do not think one is good and the other not, I am only lamenting at this perpetual struggle that I sometimes find distressing.
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How does one decide what is right? Sometimes I am able to summon Soul into the debate to settle the matter. Soul is neutral and guided by a greater wisdom which serves a higher purpose; hence She presides over them both. But She takes her time, and meanwhile I have to think of ways to amuse them until the intervention arrives :)
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All this would not really be of any concern, except that sometimes I find myself caught in the middle of a spiritual tussle, such as the one detailed below.
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To my Mind, the most appealing argument for Sikhi is the concept of Shabad as Guru.
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I will not deny that the reason for this is perhaps rather egoistic: I do not think I have it in me to surrender to another human. I believe myself to be capable of devotion, of love, of compassion. But for me to surrender to a Teacher, it needs to be pure and unwaveringly constant, I need to be able to place it on a pedestal, and make it a standard to live up to. I need to know that it will always, always, always command my high opinion and respect, I need to have faith that it will never disappoint my conscience. I need to believe that I will never need to question it, as every message I receive will be completely in sync with my Inner Voice, which naturally will be none other than that very same Teacher. These are high expectations indeed, but I think perfectly justified in view that I am planning a full and unquestionable surrender.
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And if there is anything I know to be true, it is that all things physical are ephemeral. I may love them, learn from them, and have an experience, but all at a detached distance. I may welcome them into my space, but release them just as easily. My understanding of Sikhi tells me that I will be blessed by the presence of many great souls in my lifetime. I may call them Saints, Rishis, Yogis, and even Gurus. I may bow to them, seek their guidance, revere them, be healed by their energy. But I must remember that they too are transient, their time too will come.
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There is only one constant: Shabad. The wisdom of the Great Soul. The true Gu-Ru. My Light in Darkness.
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But that is a sophisticated ideology for a simple being, and this vexes my Heart. While it recognises Shabad as the ultimate teacher, it struggles to let go of the 10 physical Gurus that provided the space for Shabad to come to be. The attachment I refer to is not only attachment to their messages, but also an attachment to them as beings of the 5 elements just like you and me, as real as the presence of any mortal being.
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It is an attachment to the stories of their lives and those around them, to the places they were born in and fields they slept in, to the rivers they crossed and forts they built, to their names and that of their children, to their swords and locks of hair.

There is no defence here; I confess that the attachment is physical. And it is difficult to imagine it otherwise, because if I truly believe them to be my father, mother, brother, sister and friend, which I do, then as a human being I should also be allowed to long for the physical space that I would expect to share with those people.

There are times when I want nothing more then to be a grandchild sleeping in Nanak's lap, or a daughter resting my head against Ram Das's knee, or a servant with my arms curled around Gobind's feet. I want to be blessed by a hand on my head. To be humbled by touching my forehead on the Marble Floor. To be warmed by the glow of joyful Harkrishan.

Is it a justification to say that although these are physical attachments, they exist to pursue a spiritual experience?

I am only human, after all.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Miss Lulu pays a visit

Life is a great teacher.
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Once it sets it's mind on a Lesson, it does not get distracted, and more importantly, it does not give up. No matter how slow, stubborn or resistant it's student may be, life has mastered the art of driving a Needle through a Tank.
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Just as well, really. For some of us usually miss the Lesson, time and time again. We walk through life arrogantly, wearing our impenetrable armour, blissfully ignoring life's trusted assistant, The Pink Flying Elephant, who comes our way with an envelope secured to Her tusks. The note reads: Wake up you Fuddle-Duddle, here is your latest Life-Lesson!
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As we all surely know, a visit from The Pink Flying Elephant is a rare occasion, for She is only summoned at the most pivotal moments, to deliver the weightiest Lessons. Given the graveness of her position and responsibility, I've decided to call her Miss Lulu. (For understanding of obsession with naming things, please refer to earlier post).
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Miss Lulu's friend. Not as pink, but then Miss Lulu doesn't judge by skin colour.
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Lately, I've found myself in frequent company of Miss Lulu.
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I can see you, at the edge of your seat, about to slide off onto your knees, hands clasped, gazing at me in veneration, asking: How, how O Great One, have you managed that?
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It's no great secret - in fact it has happened quite by accident. All I did was move away from things familiar to me, and now, out of my comfort zone, I am forced to tune in to my environment. For reasons as selfish as self-preservation, I have to be more aware and sensitive to what goes on around me. And now I see Miss Lulu more clearly than I ever did before.
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However, mere mortal that I am (shocking, I know :p), I probably still miss quite of a few Lessons, and misinterpret the rest. Yet, I am unperturbed, for I trust life (or Miss Lulu) to be stubborn enough to keep coming at me with that well-used Needle, until I get it right.
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My recent Lesson was delivered in a most round-a-bout, round-the-bush, round-the-world fashion. It started with an absolute failure with books - since the start of 2009, I have remained sufficiently unimpressed with each one that has crossed my path. One was so unbearable that for the first time, I broke my own rule of never leaving a book unfinished. This desperation to read something worthy drove me to spend a hopeful afternoon in a bookstore, where Voila! Miss Lulu came to me in the form of Richard Dawkins.
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I should like to write much more about Richard Dawkins. But I also don't want to digress. For now, it suffices to say that he is an evolutionary biologist, a keen believer of Darwinism, the author of The God Delusion, and, perhaps most relevant to my Lesson, an atheist.
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And what was I doing with a book like The God Delusion, you might ask. Besides the fact that it seems to have broken my Midas curse of turning books to dust (i.e. I actually enjoyed it), I will boldly declare it to be one of the books that has helped me affirm my faith even further. Quite the opposite effect that dear Richard intended, I think, but oh well, we all have our little disappointments!
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The reason I brought it up is this: one of the arguments laid forth in his book is that humanity and compassion should surely surpass belief in God as desired virtues. If we spent less time in religious practice and more time serving the universe, would that not be a better use of our time and energy?
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To the average reader, I suspect this suggestion might be considered sacrilegious.
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The enlightened would instead respond: but that is exactly what my faith is all about. For the act of caring for creation is in itself a salute to the Creator.
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It is easy to love a flower.

If life was to put a name to this Lesson, I think it would be called: A Lesson in Love. Bringing me towards this book reminded me that perhaps the greatest form of worship is the service of the world we live in. Sikhs of course understand this concept as Seva. But this is not Seva as we understand, or rather misunderstand it. This is Seva as in Manas Ki Jaat Sabhe Eykay Pehchaanbo, recognising the human race as one (Guru Gobind Singh).

As much as it sounds like a happy-daisy, care bear, slightly-on-a-high philosophy, I think it's also the toughest one there is. To utterly and totally love one person is challenging enough. But to take that concept and extend it to every living, breathing organism we know and will know of? That is near-impossible. Almost as impossible as believing in the existence of Miss Lulu.

Logically, though, if we think about it, this should be the easiest thing there is! If I can accept that we are all made of the same elements and by the same creator, and that He/She lives in all of us, then you are really just an extension of me. How hard can it be to love an extension of myself? Even if that extension was large enough to stretch my imagination?

Don't we all know the answer to this one - EGO :) It's all about me, honey. Me, and MY love, and MY God, and MY faith. By the time I've filled in the 'me's, there is no room for anything else, not even for Miss Lulu's Needle of Life-Lessons. By filling all the space out with Me, we paradoxically create a vacuum where there is nothing.

Miss Lulu had one more point to make. Just in case I got the message wrong, and only remembered to love humanity, She caused me to witness a fascinating incident.

It was lunchtime at work, and we were enjoying the sunny day by eating outside.

Enter: Pigeon. Sad, scruffy looking pigeon.

Enter: Nice Lady, on the phone.

Enter: RSPCA, on the line with Nice Lady.

If you've lived in London (perhaps this is also true in other parts of the world), you learn to dismiss pigeons very quickly. Much to the public's distaste, they are everywhere, they are a nuisance (so much so that people console each other by saying that it's lucky if they poop on you), thus leading to the unaffectionate label of 'pest'. Besides an obsession with the weather and a love for curry, nothing unites Londoners more than an utter loathing of pigeons.

But how does one love a mushroom? Asks she, who does not love mushrooms.
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Which is what made this incident so much more meaningful. Nice Lady had seen Scruffy Pigeon, noticed that it was injured and could not fly, and had called the RSPCA to rescue it.
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I know. I could barely believe it myself.
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I'm not sure if you want to sit down for this, but the more heart-warming thing is that someone from the RSPCA actually came. And rescued the pigeon. She took it away to nurse it back to health.
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In case you missed a paragraph earlier:
London Pigeon = people no like = pest.
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Sometimes it's easier to love a haystack.
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I don't think there is much more to say. If this isn't a Lesson in Love, I don't know what is. This was Miss Lulu at her finest; Needle through Tank.
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I know that this Lesson is not over. Love is the Mother of All Lessons; it will need frequent reminding, all the more because it is so easily forgotten. Or perhaps we choose to forget it, as we push difficult things under the carpet to worry about later, when we're older, better, wiser.
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I know Miss Lulu will be back again. Perhaps with a different Lesson, perhaps with the same one. Either way, I will keep my window open for her arrival, beautifully bubbly and Pink, flying towards me with yet another priceless Life-Lesson.
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You should too.

Monday, 19 January 2009

Ode to Orissa

I love stuff.. and I collect tonnes of it. Anything that has even a little bit of a memory attached to it, I either have it in a box somewhere or it's on display in my room. It's not that I think I'm ever going to use it or need it, I just have problems letting go... so by now you can imagine that I have a LOT of stuff!!

Problems of letting go stretch to other things as well - I still carry around stationery from more than 10 years ago, and for more recent gadgets, I kept my phone for longer than was necessary just because I got too attached to it. No, you don't understand, it really really needed to go, but after being with me for so long I couldn't imagine giving it up! I wonder if it's because I like to name things... this is a nasty habit I picked up from Surabhi (more on this crazy nut later), and once you give something a name you're a goner! Ok, so I've already admitted that I've got issues lol :p.

Anyway.. recently, my dear phone, that I named Orissa (long story for another time :p), reached her deathbed. She was practically on life support (read: needed to be constantly charged) and randomly went into cardiac arrest (read: phone would go dead in the middle of a conversation). Recognising that perhaps I'd held on for too long, I decided to get a replacement. SHHHHH don't say it too loud, she might hear you :)

My dear friend Surabhi, recognising how painful this experience would be for me, tried to ease the pain by writing a beautiful poem for Orissa. She got the gender a little confused, but otherwise it's an absolutely ridiculously nutty poem, one that I'm sure Orissa would appreciate. So here goes:

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Ode to the mobile phone

The autumn wind blows strong

Bringing forth the wintery gray skies

Those sunny days, they are long gone

And here, Kiren is left, with her mobile

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She stares at it with apprehension

Tis a tragic story, an Aesop Fable,

However can she explain to it

That she hath replaced it! Oh, the betrayal!

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As she whispers those painful words,

Tis most difficult for the mobile to endure,

How else to react in that excruciating moment?

When told 'I dont need you anymore'

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Kiren thinks, 'Ah, how lucky I am'

'To have such an understanding phone'

'He could have screamed, shouted, sued me for abuse'

'As I leave him all alone'

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He knows that it is time to go,

He hath served her well, tis true,

But now, he falls apart at the seams,

And all that keeps him together is a huge tube of UHU glue

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He cries, She cries

They all cry, they tear, they bawl,

He because he knows the end is near

She because she cant hear people who call her at all

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He knows the end has come

When he hears excitement in her voice, her tone,

For what is this arrived, in a brand new box

Why, it is a lovely new mobile phone!

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'Goodbye world' says Mobile,

As he turns off his light for the very last time,

'Forgive me, for my sins I must atone'

Before the midnight hour doth chime

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And so we come to the end of Mobile's tale

But for him the end is merely a beginning, a start,

And he knows, that whatever Kiren may have to do,

He is her one true love, within her heart.

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Sigh... It's making me cry all over again.. hehe.
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Anyway, I have named the new phone, it's called BB, which is short for Bling Bling - because it's a little too black and shiny for my taste :)
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Oh, and in case you're wondering, I'm still carrying Orissa around with me... she just won't get out of my handbag and I don't have the heart to kick her out!
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Rest in peace, Orissa. And BB be warned, you're stuck with me for a VERY long time!
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P/s: Subi, you're now publicly famous for zany poems... muahahahaha :p

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Pink Socks

I was happily enjoying a beautiful London morning, heading to the tube station on my way to work, listening to Anand (Bliss!).
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And out of nowhere, this bloke appears and greets me. I remove my earphones, and he says he works for Marks & Sparks, and they were carrying out a survey, and would I please tell him what my 3 favourite sock colours were. Just like that, with a perfectly straight face!
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I thought it was a leeetle fishy as he didn't have any ID or chart or anything, and I wondered why on earth would Marks be carrying out surveys on quiet streets at 8 in the morning! But, I was in a good mood and decided to humour him, so I replied. Yes, I actually did :)
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Pink, orange and green.
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AND THEN!!! He asked if I was wearing any!
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And I replied YES! Pink ones! And then I quickly ran away before it got any weirder :)
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How absolutely random. I remember looking at the sky (as if calling out to some great spirit out there) and thinking: where on earth do these people come from!!
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And me being me, I spent a good part of the day wondering what was the the greater message that life was trying to send me... and I was drawing a complete blank, until a friend said:
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Perhaps the lesson would be to take pleasure in the simple things that make you smile - like choosing to wear whacky socks, and thus completely throwing off the survey's previous blue/black/grey bias ;D
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Inspired by this, and armed with my rekindled love of brightly-coloured socks, you can only imagine what my next pair is going to look like! Only this time I might venture into new territory... furry socks? Socks with tinkly bells? Or maybe I'll stick to the traditional kind and just get rainbow socks with bats all over them.
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So many choices, but only two feet.
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The plight of a sock-lover. Sigh.

Friday, 3 October 2008

Kirtan on Wheels in Perak!

Sikhs With A Mission recently organised their latest Kirtan on Wheels – this time to the northern Malaysian state of Perak. The previous one to Penang was almost 2 months ago and we were all quite impatient for the next one!

Members distributing CDs and other material. Check out the Mission logo - 'One God', inspired by Ek Oangkaar.

Kirtan on Wheels is more than your average kirtan tour – the idea is not only to sing kirtan; it is also to share messages that can be applied into Sikh lifestyle. The Gurdwaras we visited this time were all little communities tucked away from the cities; hence there isn’t much exposure to Sikh activities in more developed areas.

Sanggat in meditation

The other great thing about Kirtan on Wheels is that it’s not just the Kirtan Jatha that travels - the Mission hired a coach and welcomed members of the KL sanggat to tag along, to bring together the sanggat from different parts of the country. So we had a very diverse group of people on board – Uncle Jis, Aunty Jis, young families, and a whole battalion of youth, who dominated the back of the bus.

The Kirtan on Wheels group arrives at Gurdwara Sahib Sungai Siput for the 'milni' :p

Walking towards Gurdwara Sahib Changkat Tin. The road was too narrow for our bus! But we enjoyed the walk through the beautiful little village :)
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And true to its name, there was music pretty much all the way up and down – from Kirtan to qawwalis to ghazals – as long as the music is about God or a spiritual experience its welcome! The harmonium and mike travelled up and down the aisle as people took turns singing - it was one heck of a party! My brother, cousins, and some friends were there too so there was plenty of love to go round :). And I know I speak for all of us when I say that we sorely missed Dalip, our beloved Yogi D and Ragi rolled into one. It was truly Sajna Tere Bina :p

The theme is always to bring an element of worship into daily life, but this time we were also addressing an issue that was very relevant to the area we visited: idol/element worship and placing faith in rituals. The message was that just bring all your prayers back to the feet of the Guru!

Sunday programme at Gurdwara Sahib Tanjung Tualang - will all the little cutesy kids right in front.

We visited some of the most beautiful Gurdwaras in Malaysia – my cousins and I were sorely reminded of our own village Gurdwara in Ulu Yam, which has unfortunately lost its charm after that thing called modernisation came to knock on its door. Sigh… It’s really sad that we’re losing so many of our quaint Gurdwaras in Malaysia in a frenzy of tearing down and rebuilding. But before I start embarking on my own little crusade, I’m going to get back to this post :)

The grounds at Gurdwara Sahib Pusing - this Gurdwara has a special place in the hearts of all Malaysians, sanggat regularly comes here with their prayers. This is where we spent the night. Bliss!

Singing our way into Gurdwara Sahib Tanjung Tualang

Off the bus and onto the green, green grass at Gurdwara Sahib Malim Nawar. Suksharan, Manpreet and I were busy scouting for future mini samelan destinations - this one looks perfect!

Lovely little Gurdwaras and their lovely little langgar areas - sigh...!

The sanggat was beautiful in every place; they were warm and welcomed us with such grace that we felt right at home. And they know how to make a god cup of tea! I drank cha at every single stop – mind you that’s 8 cups of cha over 2 days - this is from someone who never drinks tea unless in India :)

This is Cha stop Number 3 :) And I remember the cake. Divine Cake!

See it wasn't just me... Ickle Nimmerta couldn't resist the cha either :)

All in all, it was a weekend well-spent in the arms of Guru’s beloved sanggat. At the sanggat’s request, the Dasmesh Jatha made a second trip there during the Eid break, to continue sharing the Guru’s message.

If anyone is interested to join future Kirtan on Wheels trips you can log on to the Mission website or email mission@khalsa.com.

May Guru bless all those who spread His love!

Monday, 1 September 2008

... and her spirit soared!

I sincerely thought that I would have written about this a lot earlier. When I returned from the States in July, I was itching to write, record, recall, remember anything and everything on my journey in Espanola.
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But the many moments spent in front of the screen always yielded the same result - a beautifully blank page :)

I've learnt that the more profound the experience, the greater the silence that follows. The silence is a result of a simple dilemma: where to start (because the journey began years before I boarded the plane), what to skip over (because even the simple act of opening the tent flap every morning was a blessing), who to leave out (because I could talk for ages even about random hugs and smiles from people who shared my space).

And so I am resigned - trying to write about it is futile, as the only thing I'll succeed in doing is short-changing the reader as I trip and fall over words in a vain attempt to describe a spirit-soaring experience.

Instead I hope my pictures will help me do some of the talking. Here is the the lense through which I lived those few weeks.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/29918597@N03/sets/72157607052439459/

Still, feel free to corner me and ask... I LOVE to talk about my time in Espanola (as some have painfully realised :p). Some of my favourite memories are about The Rise Up Minstrel and its Cacti-dodging Adventures, waking the Sun up at Morning Sadhana, The Fuzzy White Lines through the corner of my Eye during Tantric, The Forehead-Floor reunions during my visits to My Solstice Sanctuary, The Beautiful Beanie-Gloves-Shawl-Sunblock Relationship, Prayer Beads dancing through my Mind during Meditations, the Guru speaking to me in Spanish, the All-Night Lullaby that put the Universe to sleep, receiving Amrit for the First Time - again.

And of course, the all-time winner, Ishnaan Seva at Espanola Gurdwara, where Water raced down the Blessed Marble to reach the Golden Temple in my Heart. In those few moments I was truly in Amritsar.

I lived several lifetimes, crossed world-oceans, lost myself, found myself, discovered pain, discovered release, clung on, let go, hugged, laughed, cried. I bow eternally to that time and space, where emotion brewed in a pot and released the aroma of bliss.

I cannot end this post without sending out buckets of love and thanks to wonderful Shanti and Tyaga, for hosting us, feeding us, introducing us to Noah and Meeta, and most importantly, giving our minds and souls a home. Even a soaring spirit needs a santuary to rest in :)

And of course, thank you, Yogi Ji, for helping me pave my way to Guru Ram Das :D

Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Lost and Found

I lost my Kara last week.
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It was there one moment, and just like that, gone in the next. I simply could not recall the last time I’d seen it, or how it had come off.
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I spent the first few minutes in denial – it’s always always always been there and I could still feel its weight on my wrist and hear the clink whenever I rested my arm on the table. I’m very organised with my things and losing them unsettles me right to my hair tips. I’d had this Kara for over 12 years, and now it was gone.
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What I wasn’t prepared for was how alone that made me feel.
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We’re brought up to understand the Kara in many different ways; as a symbol of Oneness, a reminder of the Circle of Life and Death, something for God to latch on to, a representation of the connection we have to everything around us...
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At the back of my mind I know all this, but I don’t think I ever consciously lived it. The Kara is one of the first few things our parents stick on us as babies and I guess we get used to it so early that we just don’t think about it much.
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But that day, when I lost it, wow. The feeling of incompletion was just so overwhelming; and the question that kept running through my head was: how will my Guru hold me now?
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It was an experience of being stripped so bare, that no one would ever be able to identify me and I would never belong again. My Kara had become so much a part of my identity, so much a part of me, that without it I became completely invisible.
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That week was full and busy and eventful and exhausting, and yet when I look back, all I seem to remember is that it was the week when I was bare and alone. And when I finally went to Gurdwara on Saturday, I rushed to the stall and grabbed hold of any Kara that would have me. It turned out to be a really cheap-looking, thin and flimsy 3 ringgit Kara, and yet the moment was priceless – suddenly my skin felt like mine again and I… belonged. I regained the lost connection; I was comforted that my Guru would be able to reach out and hold me again.
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And it’s just as they say – sometimes you need to lose something before you can gain something else. By creating a vacuum, you draw in the energy needed to fill the space.
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And the vacuum left by that Kara was filled with the realisation that my Kara went beyond completing my Circle of Life and Death, or connecting me to the rest of creation…
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It was there to complete ME, to make ME whole, to bind MY mind, body and spirit, to unite MY soul with God’s. It was MY circle and it brought me together within myself. God and me, me and God, are one.
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And because of that, He can Never Let Me Go.
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Phew :p

Saturday, 14 June 2008

The One Where She Goes to Espanola...

There are some experiences you know you just have to have - and over the last few years, the 3HO Summer Solstice Celebration has had that pull on me. Come 2008, even Mataji starts itching to go..... and ta-da! A trip is planned and we'll be on our way in just a few hours :)
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So while you wait for me to come back and tell you all about it, enjoy the pictures from my experience at the 2006 Yoga Festival in France – There aren’t that many pictures and admittedly they aren’t that good either… but I was too busy with my soul to worry about worldly things like cameras and the like :)
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The Big Top, where all the group yoga and meditation sessions took place, including Tantric

Yoga in the Big Top

The most fascinating thing about sessions here was that everyone sat in their language groups. Since people come from all over Europe and English may not have been their first language, there were a few translators who would stand up in their little circles and explain what was being said. It was pretty neat to hear the Guru's word being translated into French, Dutch, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, Italian...:)

Sunrise just after morning sadhana

There is nothing like doing sadhana to live music :)

The Gurdwara was packed on the day of the weddings - of course some were just waiting for the prashaad :)

During the lavaan

Getting ready for Tantric

Tessa and my Tantric neighbours during our second day

All Whites! Taking a break in between Tantric

All set for the Happy, Healthy, Holy experience :)
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Love, Peace and Light to all,
Satnam

Monday, 9 June 2008

Of Chocolate and Cinnamon… and Beautiful Cubes of Brown Sugar

Apparently, I am faced with one really big dilemma (amongst others, of course, but this one is a Biggie). Well I can’t say I’m alone in this, for millions others are also afflicted with this awkward reality.
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Our predicament? We are Brown.
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I was at the pharmacy today – arguably a place that should be retailing either items to restore my health, or those that make me feel good. Yet as I browsed along the shelves, I grew increasingly troubled at the frequency at which one word was repeated. From face cream to moisturiser to shower gel, apparently the quickest way to get products off the shelf was to slap on one defining word: ‘whitening’.

This is all the more concerning when you think about the racial make-up of my country, which is approximately 60% Malay, 30% Chinese and 8% Indian – which means that excluding the Chinese, who are already naturally fair, there is 68% of the population being told that they should be having sleepless nights at the thought that their skin isn’t comparable to the colour of chalk.

And I do, seriously, mean chalk. Because those ads are not referring to a healthy fair skin that the other half of the world’s population is blessed with. They are referring to… chalk.

This bugs me for two reasons – first, that I too now am the un-proud owner of whitening moisturiser – because even those of us who do not support such unashamedly confidence-bashing advertising are left with no choices. The ‘whitening’ stamp is now akin to a quality control certificate – if you don’t have it, your product won’t make it to the shelf. This maelstrom, however. will be short-lived – for on my next trip overseas I’m going to hunt down some plain Jane kind of lotion with no references to colour, and I’m going to stack up enough to last me the next 100 years or so. Sigh – the troubles and tribulations of being Brown…… don’t get me started on being left-handed :p

The second bug-me factor is not so easily healed – and here I’m referring to the so, so, so many women out there – especially Indian women, who look in the mirror everyday wishing for a snowfall that will wash away their colour. And naturally, as people are their own worst enemies, these women are not just battling effective advertising, but also pressure from their own families and communities, where the first thing anyone wants to know about someone’s girlfriend/daughter-in-law/newborn baby is: ‘Is she fair?’ And once that question is answered, the Writing is On the Wall dah-lin’, and fate is cast in stone.

This issue is something I can relate to, because when I was in my early teens, my skin colour bothered me too. Brown was nice and all, on someone else. But to be honest I wouldn’t have minded being a shade or two… or three…. Oh alright – the colour of chalk.

You wouldn’t think it if you knew me now though :p – today I am as proud and grateful and content as anything at the way my Creator made me. So I have my imperfections, but who doesn’t, eh? Thank God I grew out of that phase and discovered how much I loved being the colour of the earth and melted chocolate and curled cinnamon sticks!

But my point is that even for someone like me, who grew up in a family where the colour conversation never made it to the dinner table, who was encouraged to spend most of her time under the sun whilst having a non-existent relationship with sun block until recent years, who took no nonsense from anyone, and knew full well that advertising is a money-making sham where people are wheedled into wanting things they could in fact be quite happy without……… even that someone had her faith shaken as a little girl – all because some half-starved, malnourished, chalk-faced model on tellie insisted that she was the definition of beauty and the rest of us should be killing ourselves to look like her.

And so I worry for all those Beautiful Cubes of Brown Sugar scattered across the globe, those for whom colour is the only conversation at the dinner table, sunshine is sin, and fashion magazines the answer to all the world’s problems. For no matter how brightly their personality sparkles, it is simply not given the chance to shine through their dark skin.

And I want to say to them: Your Brownness is not a blemish, it’s a blessing – and no amount of slapping on that muck is going to change your complexion – unless you want to take it up with God directly. So let it rest and go lie in the sun instead! Don’t forget your sun block though – burns are no fun :)

Brown IS beautiful.

And for the record, so is White, Yellow, Black, Red, Beige……and whatever else I’ve missed out. I am being pro-colour, not pro-Brown – this post looks through the Brown glass because that’s what I can relate to, while I hope there are others out there fighting their own little battles for the right and beauty to be whatever colour they are.

Isn’t it ironic that while one end of the globe is obsessed with getting fairer, the other half sunbathes and visits tanning salons to get darker. Why can’t we all just be comfortable in our own skin, literally!

You know, in spite of the fact that God gave the world so much colour, when it comes to people, I hear that He is, in fact, colour blind.

I think it’d be pretty nice if we were too :)

Saturday, 3 May 2008

Britain's Got Madhu!

Sigh... so I know I've been seriously MIA for a while... and I hope the fact that this post is less than 10 lines long (compared to my usually-endless rantings!) is a testament to how busy things have been.
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But here is something that will make you forget all that and just cheer for Madhu :)
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Madhu you da man!

Thursday, 14 February 2008

The Savage who did not understand

I looooove the Earth. Sometimes I wish She could shrink and I could expand until we are both just the right size for me to give her a great Big Hug :)
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She is to me the simplest example of God’s marvel. Forget the countless stars and galaxies we are told of in science, and also coincidentally (or maybe not!), in Japji. My mind doesn’t even get that far; it just gets stuck when I start thinking of the Earth and how intricate She is.
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Man has rightly bestowed the title ‘Mother’ upon her – for she dotes on us so. She presides over us rain or shine, wind or snow. Man (and beast) has equally found solace in Her arid deserts and vast savannahs, Her dense forests and undulating hills. She is so enbelievably Beautiful and Bountiful - and She smells fabulous, especially right after it rains :)
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But mankind, being mankind, does not always remember to love Her like She does us – and that is exactly the spirit in which Chief Seattle spoke on that day in 1854.
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I first read Chief Seattle’s speech for a school assignment. It is described as ‘one of the most beautiful and profound statements’ ever made on the environment.
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Bear in mind that there is a great deal of controversy on the origins speech; in fact there are debates over its very existence. The version below is actually said to be fraudulent; written by a screenwriter for a movie.
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That may very well be true – it does seem too beautiful to have ever been uttered in real life.
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My suggestion? Forget where it comes from. Take it as poetry from a child of Mother Earth.
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Before you read on, you will have to travel back in time to the 1850s, in America, during the struggle between the White Man and the Native Indian.
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INTRODUCTION
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In 1854, the "Great White Chief" in Washington made an offer for a large area of Indian land and promised a `reservation' for the Indian people.
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Chief Seattle's reply has been described as the most beautiful and profound statement on the environment ever made.
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THIS EARTH IS PRECIOUS
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How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?
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ALL SACRED
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Every part of this earth is sacred to my people.
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Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and experience of my people. The sap which courses through the trees carries the memories of the red man.
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The white man's dead forget the country of their birth when they go to walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth, for it is the mother of the red man.
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We are part of the earth and it is part of us.
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The perfumed flowers are our sisters; the deer, the horse, the great eagle, these are our brothers.
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The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony, and man--all belong to the same family.
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NOT EASY
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So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy land, he asks much of us.
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The Great Chief sends word he will reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably to ourselves. He will be our father and we will be his children. So we will consider your offer to buy our land.
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But it will not be easy. For this land is sacred to us.
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This shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors.
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If we sell you land, you must remember that it is sacred, and you must teach your children that it is sacred and that each ghostly reflection in the clear water of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people.
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The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father.
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KINDNESS
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The rivers are our brothers, they quench our thirst. The rivers carry our canoes, and feed our children. If we sell you our land, you must remember, and teach your children, that the rivers are our brothers, and yours, and you must henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.
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We know that the white man does not understand our ways. One portion of land is the same to him as the next, for he is a stranger who comes in the night and takes from the land whatever he needs.
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The earth is not his brother, but his enemy, and when he has conquered it, he moves on.
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He leaves his father's graves behind, and he does not care. He kidnaps the earth from his children, and he does not care.
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His father's grave, and his children's birthright, are forgotten. He treats his mother, the earth, and his brother, the sky, as things to be bought, plundered, sold like sheep or bright beads.
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His appetite will devour the earth and leave behind only a desert.
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I do not know. Our ways are different from your ways.
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The sight of your cities pains the eyes of the red man. But perhaps it is because the red man is a savage and does not understand.
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There is no quiet place in the white man's cities. No place to hear the unfurling of leaves in spring, or the rustle of an insect's wings.
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But perhaps it is because I am a savage and do not understand.
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The clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to life if a man cannot hear the lonely cry of the whippoorwill or the arguments of the frogs around a pond at night? I am a red man and do not understand.
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The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of a pond, and the smell of the wind itself, cleaned by a midday rain, or scented with the pinion pine.
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PRECIOUS
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The air is precious to the red man, for all things share the same breath--the beast, the tree, the man, they all share the same breath.
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The white man does not seem to notice the air he breathes.
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Like a man dying for many days, he is numb to the stench.
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But if we sell you our land, you must remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh.
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And if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a place where even the white man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow's flowers.
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ONE CONDITION
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So we will consider your offer to buy our land. If we decide to accept, I will make one condition: The white man must treat the beasts of this land as his brothers.
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I am a savage and I do not understand any other way.
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I've seen a thousand rotting buffaloes on the prairie, left by the white man who shot them from a passing train.
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I am a savage and I do not understand how the smoking iron horse can be more important than the buffalo that we kill only to stay alive.
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What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of spirit.
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For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected.
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THE ASHES
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You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is the ashes of your grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin.
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Teach your children what we have taught our children, that the earth is our mother.
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Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.
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This we know: The earth does not belong to man; man belongs to the earth. This we know.
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All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected.
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Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth.
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Man did not weave the web of life: he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
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Even the white man, whose God walks and talks with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny.
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We may be brothers after all. We shall see.
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One thing we know, which the white man may one day discover, our God is the same God. You may think now that you own Him as you wish to own our land; but you cannot. He is the God of man, and His compassion is equal for the red man and the white.
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This earth is precious to Him, and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its Creator.
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The whites too shall pass; perhaps sooner than all other tribes. Contaminate your bed, and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.
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But in your perishing you will shine brightly, fired by the strength of God who brought you to this land and for some special purpose gave you dominion over this land and over the red man.
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That destiny is a mystery to us, for we do not understand when the buffalo are all slaughtered, the wild horses are tamed, the secret corners of the forest heavy with scent of many men, and the view of the ripe hills blotted by talking wires.
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Where is the thicket? Gone.
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Where is the eagle? Gone.
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The end of living and the beginning of survival.
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It seems to me, that the 'savage' probably understood it best of all.